"Mini skirts arrived as fashion in the 1990's."
"So crispy."
"Kentucky Fried road race to Las Vegas 1983."
"Leave Jordan and the Wu Tang alone."
"Lemon drop puffin cinnamon mmfin so good"

These sentences only make sense if you've been to the famed Dongdaemun clothing market in Seoul. Dongdaemun is home to the best tee shirts on Earth, and searching for gems among the maze of vendors has become a hobby of mine.

I found myself in Dongdaemun recently because I just like had to go shopping. It's what I do when I feel bad, and I was feeling awful that day.

You see my brother in law Todd came to visit, and after saying goodbye to him I realized that I'd been a terrible host. The guilt temporarily subsided when a dress caught my eye, but then I felt bad again.

I felt bad for a number of reasons.

First of all, instead of conveniently meeting Todd in Seoul, I made him travel solo to my remote town of Uljin, with nothing to follow but a set of vague Amazing-Race style directions.

His flight was delayed, he missed a number of buses, and with no cell phone service Todd ended up in Uljin half past midnight after about 15 hours of traveling.

How inconsiderate of me. Todd had gone through a lot of trouble to visit, and I had neglected the rare opportunity to have family in Uljin. I wanted to make it up to him.

So, after he arrived, I abandoned Todd for 11 hours while I traveled to a different city by myself. At least I didn't leave him alone, he was in good hands.

As I walked aimlessly around Dongdaemun, inside a building called "hello a p.m.", I kept thinking about Todd.  I should have been more hospitable. What could I have done differently? How can I redeem myself? Should I buy this dress? 

At least one of those questions was easy to answer, but the other two took some thinking. Then a solution came to mind. Nice November.

Throughout my time in Korea, many people have gone out of their way to help me. I wanted to give back to these individuals by doing uncharacteristically nice things for a couple weeks in November. Then in December I just won't talk to people and it will be okay.

I also wanted my November to have a theme, like "No Shave November." I'm tired of feeling left out every year because I can't really grow facial hair. I only started shaving because my friends were doing it.

As Nice November commenced, It was only right to start the kindness campaign with Todd, by reminding him he resembles the child of Steve Carell and Ben Stiller. I consider this a compliment and therefore nice.

After that I was on a roll to becoming a temporarily nicer human being.

Nice November Week 1: Bought coffee for strangers, brought in cake for my school, gave $2 bill souvenirs to the cafeteria staff, didn't tell the cafeteria staff that the bills aren't actually that rare, printed and distributed volleyball team pictures, didn't hit my students while angry, forced the same students to make birthday cards for my mother, then forced them to make birthday cards for a friend, made my own birthday card for a different friend, took my mentor teacher out for dinner, gave persimmons to a stranger, helped record a voice over for an English project that required me to pretend like I was a 55 year-old Father, and bought my students ice cream so they would stop complaining about making cards.

Nice November Week 2: Yeah I definitely stopped after the first week.

It may have been brief, but I think the events of Nice November have permanently changed me. I now know exactly what I want to do with my life.
 
I want to make the tee-shirts they sell at Dongdaemun Market.

Have you ever heard of the Andong Mask Festival? I didn't think so. Man you are so ignorant. Let me tell you about it.

Basically the city of Andong is famous for many things, like masks and chicken and stuff. Every year their festival attracts visitors coming to celebrate the cultural diversity of the area. I have never been to the Andong Mask Festival, I don't know why you asked about it.

I made it to a number of other festivals though, as there seems to be a festival every weekend here in Korea. My favorite event to date would hands down be the Lantern Festival held in the southern city of Jinju.

Thousands of hand made lanterns lined the city-splitting river in Jinju, accompanied by scores of larger lanterns floating on the water itself.

You could even make your own lantern. All you had to do was create a sketch and local art students helped bring your vision to fruition. Many people made stars, hearts, or symbols of Korea. A friend and I decided to make a "crab-baby," pictured below.

When we proposed our crab-baby lantern, the assistant art student said "you absolutely cannot make that." I guess she'd never been to the Uljin crab festival; where the amount of soju and crabs prove that this creature possible.

Back to the drawing board. Next we proposed a kimbap airplane. The same art student gave us the go-ahead, but we couldn't finish the wings in time so instead just created a green cylinder.

Did our kimbap airplane turn out beautiful? Not at all, it was embarrassing, so I tried to get rid of it. First, on a friend's back....

Then, on the side of a walkway housed with lanterns that were actually good.

At least other people are skilled at making lanterns...

I'm not sure when my next festival visit will take place, but I'm looking forward to it. Maybe there is a film festival? I'm only going if this is playing:

I'll conclude this update with an unnecessary description of "Turbo Man,"one of Uljin's many colorful characters. Turbo man helps people cross the street in front of the post office, which means he only has to do things maybe four times a day. His English is quite good, so I stop to chat with him as much as possible.

I thought I knew Turbo Man, I really did. He seemed like a simple man. Then I saw him about 3 miles South of town dressed in an all white gown, feathers on his head, playing a bass drum. Today on my ride home from school another unexpected Turbo man sighting occurred. He was alone, wearing a helmet and an all jean outfit, pouring cement into non-existent holes on the side of the road. I am so confused. I have to go.

Did you know Korea has four seasons? Because if you didn't, someone here will remind you every day. 

My fellow teachers seem proud of the fact their country changes every three months, and I don't blame them. It's been great. The transition from a grueling summer to routinely perfect weather has significantly improved the general mood of most Uljinites.

My only complaint with the seasonal change is the accompanying nostalgia for this time of year back home, you know, Fall. Fall is one of our seasons in the states. Did you know America has four seasons?

Anyway, I combated the nostalgia by recreating a trip from last year's Autumn in video form:

Big Foot at the 1:47 mark?

And while we're on the subject of videos, this is what happens when corn-fed Midwestern friends, like the ones from the previous video, come to Korea:

And the inspiration behind those moves comes from Elementary School students:

Ok one more video. One for every Korean season.

And a bonus vid for all my countries out there with five seasons.